“Field Notes - #4: The Depths"

The depths, I mean the spiritual depths—going there is a privilege. It’s a place that’s tough to get to, to go all the way into the sacred earth, without support, without care, and without being witnessed and held vulnerably. Held by people who know you, and people who you trust with your entire heart and life—that’s what makes the journey into the depths possible.

The other way in is through crisis. And yes, even without support, crisis can get you there . . . but will you be able to stay long enough to transcend?

I have never gone into the depths voluntarily, just to look around. No, life has called me there more than a few times, and as best as I could, I’ve always tried to answer the call.

But what if this year—my first as a practitioner, and at the true start of this tennis journey—I go in not because I have to, but because finally, at last, I have enough support, enough safety and compassion and community around me to pack a bag—add the palo santo sticks and matches, plus the green tea—and just go all the way in.

I do not know what I will find there; how long I'll stay, or even whether I'll get there at all. But I do know --- and I am sure of it, that this year I am going to go, I am going to try, and I am already en route. You are always welcome to journey with me; and regardless of whether our paths ever cross, I will be sending postcards and field notes along the way.